Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Don't Second Guess

Tonight, as Boo lay curled in my lap with a cough that came out of nowhere, I realized something so important.

I have no clue what I am doing half the time.

Not that it is a bad thing, it is fun at times to find the path and see where it all leads. But there are times where I am terrified that I am going to mess This up, that my kids will have long lasting effects of my crazy parenting.

There are times when I second guess myself. Am I doing the right thing by keeping Boo at her school (yes, by the way), am I doing the right thing by not listening to everyone Boo's doctor, should I really worry about Hunter's school or let his Mom handle it?

If I make this one little choice, how long will it affect my family? Will the backlash be great, or so minuscule that no one knows I even made the change?

There are so many "what if's" in life, so many different things that may or may not happen, that it would make a person crazy to think of them all. So what do we do instead, take it one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. If we mess up, so be it. Learn, and move on. Taking the time to freak out about the possibilities in life does not help, though it may feel like it at first.

I spent the first three years of Boo's life playing the "what if" game, wondering if I was doing the right thing every minute of the day. I worried that she would get sick, get hurt, have hurt feelings, be bruised or broken. I spent so much time being a "helicopter parent" that I didn't watch her grow. I don't know if this is changing a lot, but now I know that I need let life happen.

I now know that I need to let her find her way, that I need to let Hunter ( to a point) find his as well. I need to not hover, need to let my second guesses stay with me. I need to show my children that even when you aren't sure, be confident in your choices and you will find the right one for you.

Going through life is hard, going through life as a mom is harder.

1 comment:

Kim said...

I try not to hover, but I am constantly afraid that I am doing it wrong. I hear what you're saying sister!